Indirect Dowry – game of gifts!

Bleeding Queens — Indirect Dowry!!

Sometimes I see this as a curse to our society and cowardice of those parents who do not stand for their own girl.

The story begins with a middle-class girl married in high-class society. Parents do whatever they can to fulfil almost every demand of the hungry in-laws, but these kinds of people are born with a limitless appetite. So, they start using cunning language, mainly words lines indirectly like telling someone else’s tale, but the arrow is always directed to the girl and her family. She keeps on adjusting till she gets pregnant and that too with a boy, and if she can’t, then things get worse. In a family of parents and three sons, if one daughter-in-law came without a car, and has no baby for over a year, then this drama takes a new turn.

Name calling, verbal abuse and mental torture. Provoking the boy to beat his wife for petty things and then acting with a line, “humne to kuch bhi nahi bola, aakhir baat kya hui ki bete ne tuje maara.”

These kinds of things happen and go unnoticed because what happens behind the walls, is different from what happens publicly.

In public, the words and gestures are different like— ye to hamare ghar ki laxmi hai. OR  ye to hamare ghar ki raunak hai.

People often get confused with these and the victim of dowry and domestic violence becomes the culprit, herself.

And in festivals, like there are almost over two hundred small-big festivals, including karwachauth and diwali, the rituals consist of gifts from the girl’s side. And let the gifts be small and less, and she’s in trouble again. Even if her parents present everything. And the others in the in-laws family, get another chance to put that girl down.

They laugh at her and even go to the extent of calling her parents close-fisted.

I came to gift my friend last night, the Diwali present. And her parents were there. They brought almost everything to gift at Diwali, but still, I heard that the elder daughter-in-law’s brother gifted gold bangles to her.

I got the guts to ask her mother-in-law, “aunty, after I leave, are you going to compare my gifts with others also?”

Come on!!!

Who started this system of gifting instead of blessing??????

And my friend requested me to shut up or she’ll be in trouble.

I came back and called her whether everything was okay? She told me after I left, her elder sister-in-law scolded her for having such indecent friend.

Me— indecent?

And they—-what I should call them —- beggars!!!!

She, living in such high society, suffers. And trust me, a very high-class family they’re!!

But it’s our society…

Where if we wish a thousand people on Facebook and WhatsApp, we don’t gift them all.

But when it comes to one’s own daughter who’s suffering in hell, parents are bound to give gifts, on almost everything small-big Indian ritual.

Our society where…

If the one who begs for dowry or car in dowry, or keeps begging now and then, is considered rich and respected,

And the one gifts blessings is considered miser or mean-spirited.

Isn’t this to be stopped?

Gifting in the name of festivals and still give no financial support to daughters who become a victim of indirect dowry.

I mean, this is dowry…in parts!!!

Omg! When my friend’s sister-in-law is going to read this article of mine, I think I’ll be in trouble.

I’m friends with her on facebook!

Please save me god….haha!

Palak Kundra is an author from Amritsar. Her book Bleeding Queens is out in the markets now. This book tells the story of Diljit, a woman who fights back the rapists and punishes them.